The Church of the Market Gods.
CNBC pumps fast talk and stock tickers like it’s gospel — worshiping Wall Street, the Fed, and whatever billionaire happens to be on the line. It’s not that they’re clueless — it’s that they don’t care about life outside the trading floor. The average viewer’s trying to stretch a paycheck, and these folks are analyzing whether “the consumer feels confident” while sipping $9 lattes.
They treat every market dip like a tragedy, every Fed meeting like scripture. But when it comes to real people — folks working double shifts, raising kids, fixing trucks — they’re nowhere in sight.
Their idea of economic advice? Ask a hedge fund manager how the working class should think.
Verdict: Not SphstRDnck.
They talk money nonstop, but forgot who actually earns it.