Wall Street’s Polished Billboard.
Bloomberg is where billionaires check their portfolios and tech bros pretend to understand global finance. It’s data-rich, buttoned-up, and about as blue-collar as a Hermès tie. It tracks markets, money, and influence — but not the life of anyone making $20 an hour under fluorescent lights.
Sure, it’s smart. Clean design, fast info, lots of numbers — but the voice? Pure New York elitism. They’ll report what matters to you… as long as you own stock in seven companies and sip espresso out of a bone china cup.
Verdict: Not SphstRDnck. Smart? Yeah. But rooted in the dirt? Not even close.