Disney’s Newsroom.
ABC News is what happens when journalism wears mouse ears. Owned by Disney, it’s less a newsroom and more a PR wing for the empire—polished, market-tested, and loyal to the narrative. It used to be a heavyweight in the broadcast game. Now? It’s breakfast fluff, evening fear, and prime-time obedience.
ABC won’t dig too deep into Big Pharma, Big Tech, or Big Government—because Disney’s portfolio depends on keeping those relationships cozy. You think they’ll investigate Silicon Valley while streaming their future on Hulu? Think they’ll challenge drug companies while Disney+ pumps health ads between Marvel reruns? Not a chance.
They call it news, but it’s mostly filler between ad breaks. If there’s a scandal, they gauge the politics before running it. If there’s a story that hits working-class America? Better hope it doesn’t interfere with the latest Pixar rollout.
They smile big, play soft, and keep their coverage right where the shareholders like it—harmless and hollow. Journalism used to hold power to account. ABC holds it gently with two gloved hands and asks for a sponsorship deal.
Verdict: Not SphstRDnck.
When branding outweighs the truth, you’re not reporting—you’re selling.